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Expecting Someone Taller by Tom Holt

Book Cover - Tom Holt: Expecting Someone Taller

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Cover by
Steve Lee

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Cover by
Josh Kirby

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Cover by
MacDonald

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German Cover by
?

You can read more about this book at Amazon's websites (where you also can order the book):
Normal paper editions
Amazon UK (Paperback) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon USA (Paperback) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon Canada (Paperback) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon Deutschland (Paperback) Expecting Someone Taller Kindle (eBook) editions
Amazon UK (Kindle edition) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon USA (Kindle edition) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon Canada (Kindle edition) Expecting Someone Taller
Amazon Deutschland (Kindle edition) Expecting Someone Taller

See below for information about the German translation
Category: funny fantasy
Publisher: Macmillan, published 1987
ISBN: 1-85723-181-3, Paperback, 218 pages
ISBN: 0-70888-369-9, Paperback
Publisher: Hachette Digital, published 5 Nov 2009
ISBN: B002TXZT3O, Kindle edition, 218 pages

This novel is included in the omnibus Tall Stories: Omnibus 5.
This book has also been published (February 2002) in the omnibus Expecting Beowulf. (Available in US only)

"Expecting Someone Taller...what they got was Malcolm!"

Book synopsis (The back of the book says)

All he did was run over a badger - sad, but hardly catastrophic. But it wasn't Malcolm Fisher's day, for the badger turned out to be none other than Inglof, last of the Giants. With his dying breath, he reluctantly handed to Malcolm two Gifts of Power, and made him ruler of the world.

But can Malcolm cope with the responsibilty? Whilst averting wars, plagues and famines, he also has to protect himself against gods, dwarves, valkyries and other nefarious manifestations of the Dark Ages - none of whom think he is right for the job ...

The book have been published with three different covers.
When first published by Macmillan, MacDonald made the cover. When Tom Holt changed publisher to Orbit, Josh Kirby made the covers for the first two novels. Later on they switched cover artist to Steve Lee, which has made most of the covers to Tom Holts books.
Read more about the cover artists in the FAQ.

This book is also being developed for the theatre: Musical/Theatre: Expecting Someone Taller.

This book has also been translated to French and German.

My review of this book

After reading this book I scribbled down this on the 31st of March 1997

It's for sure that Malcolm didn't intended to run over the poor badger, but there you are. Imagine his surprise when the Badger turns out to be Inglof, one of the last Giants. Before Inglof enter the stadium called definetly-quite-dead-and-not-moving-at-all he, very much reluctantly, makes Malcolm the ruler of the world.
Malcolm didn't expect this at all, at least not from a badger, or at least not from a dying badger...
Life is never going to be the same for Malcolm who was used to quite living, now he's one of the most popular beings in the world, that is, the Gods don't think his the right bloke for the job, so they try to convince him to put his responsibilities on someone more suitable. This was Tom Holt's debut in the comic fantasy genre. Many Gods, Norns, Dwarves, Valkyries, Giants involved and one gets to learn that the Wagner didn't have much right about the story of the Tarnhelm.
I read this book over the easter-holiday and I can assure you that it was a very nice way to spend the evenings, not as good as plain sex, but still much fun.

Other people's reviews of this book

Tom Knapp's review

Jim Loy's review

Anonymous review

If you have read this book and have written down your thoughts, please mail me the location of your review and I will link it from here.

What critics have said

`Intelligent, original and solidly entertaining...a superb debut'
-- Michael Moorcook
`Tom Holt will one day rank with....P G Wodehouse and Evelyn Waugh'
-- Northern Times
`Ranks with the best in the genre,
mixing the cosmic and the comic with sensational effect!'
-- Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine
`Recalls both Tolkiens Lord of The Rings
and Twain's Connecticut Yankee...
An entertaining romp'
-- Publishers Weekly
`Literate, light-fiction, an under-appreciated genre of which Tom Holt has made himself a modern master.'
-- Washington Post
`Terry Pratchett has now a rival in comic fantasy.'
-- Daily Telegraph

Quotes from Expecting Someone Taller

'That's the trouble.' Loke was trembling. 'If you're mortal, all they can do is kill you. But if you're going to live forever, they can really get you.'
'Surely not?'
'Don't you believe it. He'll turn me into an aquarium, I know he will.'
In fact, as they will be delighted to tell you,
Taunton is no longer a one-horse town; these days,
they have a bicycle as well.
'Get lost,' said Memory, and the bat did its best to obey.
Being gifted with natural radar, however, it didn't find it easy.
Mr. Ayres winced slightly. He disliked the German race, probably because they had thoughtlessly capitulated before he had been old enough to get at them during the War.
`Anyway,' said the badger, 'what's your name?'
'Malcolm,' said Malcolm, 'Malcolm Fisher.'
'Say that again,' said the badger. 'Slowly.'
'Mal-colm Fi-sher.' The badger was silent for a moment.
'Are you sure?' it said, sounding rather puzzled.
'Finally,' said Inglof, 'cut my arm and lick some of the blood.'
'I'd rather not,' said Malcolm, firmly.
'If you do, you'll be able to understand the language of the birds.'
'I don't particulary want to be able to understand
the language of the birds,' said Malcolm.
A tall man with long grey hair falling untidily over the collar of his dark blue suit leaned against the parapet eating an ice cream. Although impeccably dressed, he was palpably all wrong, and the two policemen looked at each other with pleasent anticipation.
'Drugs?' suggested the first policeman.
'More like dirty books,' said the other. 'If he's armed, it's my turn.'
'It's always your turn,' grumbled his companion.
The first policeman shrugged his shoulders. 'Oh, all right then,' he said. 'But I get to drive back to the station.'

In German

This novel has been translated into German and is called:"Wir haben Sie irgendwie größer erwartet"

Amazon Deutschland (Paperback) Wir haben Sie irgendwie größer erwartet
ISBN: 3453072715
Paperback,Heyne,1994
302 pages

See translated books for other novels translated into German